Monday, July 23, 2012
What is a blog and why?
A couple of weeks ago, I was telling my friend Jody about my blog, which the naughty girl (and bridesmaid in my wedding) had not checked out yet. Not to worry, all is forgiven - she has a small child. In my attempt to define a 'blog' to her and tell her the purpose of mine, I realized that I needed to communicate my intentions in this space. Why am I writing this blog?
Originally, I decided to restart my blog because I am a writer who hasn't written anything just for fun in years. Oh, I write press releases, copy for marketing collateral and the occasional article, but I haven't written anything for myself since I was a child. I needed a creative outlet.
When I began to envision the 'theme' of my blog and brainstorm on blog topics, I quickly realized that my blog was going to serve a much bigger purpose...not for the kids in Cambodia, not for women's rights in Afghanastan....it was going to be mostly just for me. Many of my friends and family members know that I have fought depression since I was a teenager and unfortunately, I've been medicated during most of that elapsed time. For some reason, my brain, seritonin, dopamine, past, insecurities, goals, expectations of myself, weight, relationships, hormones, you name it - can cause me to feel diproportionately sad. I have to force myself to try and see things in a positive light because it is my natural inclination to view the dark side of a situation.
What I realized is that I want my blog to function as a catalyst to make me focus on the great things in life; a sort of grattitude journal or space, if you will. Several years ago, I tried to keep a grattitude journal (a la Oprah), where I listed five things a day to be grateful for. I would sporatically add to it, but never quite made it a daily habit. I did notice that when I was keeping the journal, I would seek out various people or things for which to be grateful. At the end of the day, no matter what was happening in my life, I could always find five blessings, without fail. When my sister and I were little, we watched the Disney movie 'Pollyanna' over and over again. You'd think that her ability to find the good in everything would have rubbed off a little more. In the movie, she even influences a preacher to stop talking about the wrath of God and start ministering about His love.
My goal is for this blog to help shift my focus to all of the wonderful, beautiful and fabulous things in life, thereby forcing me to pass over the inclination towards feelings of sadness or anxiety. I love that this can be both an opportunity for me to be creative and a way to record the many blessings in my life. A blessing can be as simple as a nice, warm bed to sleep in or my husband washing my car. Some of my favorite blessings are time spent with friends and family or even just a memory, such as my grandmother telling me how much she liked the pretty red blouse I wore at Christmas before she passed away.
If you find me writing about frivolous topics or how much joy my dogs bring to my life, just know that behind the stories, the parties and the fashion sillyness, I am seeking to be grateful even for life's littlest blessings.